Yard sign stops deportation

MERION, PA—Deportation proceedings were halted on Wednesday as two Lower Merion police officers’ plans were foiled at the sight of a yard sign reading, “HATE HAS NO HOME HERE.”

The buck stops here.

The two Lower Merion police officers, deputized by US Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE), were about to arrest and detain local undocumented housekeeper Juanita Doe. According to sources, upon their arrival to her workplace, one police officer pointed out the sign in the yard and said to his partner, “What are we even doing, man?”

Witnesses report that the other police officer pointed to a sign across the street reading, “WE SUPPORT THE LOWER MERION POLICE DEPARTMENT,” and the officers resumed walking toward the driveway. However, they turned around upon seeing a second “HATE HAS NO HOME HERE” yard sign.

Don't mind me. I'm just gonna reinforce white supremacy with coded language.

Despite the prolific circle jerk of yard signs in this area, Lower Merion Township is not a sanctuary municipality, which means that Lower Merion Police Department policy is to cooperate with ICE and carry out detainer requests for undocumented immigrants should ICE ever issue one. Thankfully, the yard signs protect the dignity of immigrants in this area; not only do they stop police, but they also signal to immigrants that the homeowners will happily provide physical sanctuary to those being persecuted.

According to local undocumented immigrant Jorge C., “I like how these signs are unequivocal in their message. Like, those Hillary Clinton yard signs were really a toss-up.”

“I’m grateful that my employers’ yard sign helped me stay in this country longer,” Juanita told The Box Turtle. She then looked over her left and right shoulders and said quietly, “Pero me gustaría si me pagaran más.”